Monday, November 03, 2008

Gary Busey Is Nuts

Have you taken your pills, Mr. Busey?
The "...Is Nuts" series has long been a fan favorite here at HPO. This is a recurring theme in which we portray the darker sides of Hollywood celebrities in an effort to bring the unblinking eye of the public spotlight on their borderline insanity (sometimes, it ain't very borderline at all). In the past, we brought you Steven Seagal, Russel Crowe, James Brown, and Tom Cruise. We now bring you Gary Busey.

So, dear readers, once again, here we go.

Exhibit A: Gary Busey suffered severe and permanent brain damage from a motorcycle accident in 1988. Busey, who was not wearing a helmet, "underwent two hours of neurosurgery" following the one-vehicle incident. His wife, who had been with Busey since before their son was born 19 years prior, divorces Busey in 1990. His loving wife, his faithful companion for the better part of a quarter of a century, divorces him within 2 years of his motorcycle accident...

Exhibit B: According to our favorite newspaper (and according to Busey himself), the rock-bottom Gary Busey moment is when he dropped several bags of cocaine on the floor and his dog began rolling around in the shit. Busey, not missing a step, was quick to react, and describes the situation first hand:

And I went in like a crop-duster, with my nose flying first and snorted the cocaine off the dog... Back, butt, side. Not a spot was left. It took me 25 minutes to snort all the cocaine the dog had on her coat. The fringe benefits of this were that the fleas, the dog hair, the mud, and the sweat went in my nose, too. It's not a good flavour coming off the dog.

That's right, everyone, you heard it here first: Gary Busey snorted cocaine off his dog.

Exhibit C: "Tell 'em you're from Tennessee!"

Give us a kiss.

Exhibit D: Gary Busey, pictured above kissing a monkey, eats in the dark. He says he enjoys eating in the dark because it's adventurous: "That's what's so great about eating in the dark. Yeah, I eat a lot. I eat in the dark, I don't know what I'm eating... Exciting. An adventure. A journey. Yeah, life is an adventure. It's a celebration of honoring the truth of yourself."
Why on earth would anybody ever eat in the dark?
Exhibit E: Gary Busey flips out while being interviewed by an eleven year old girl. We would like to highlight the fact that this poor girl is just 11 years old for the love of God:
Apparently, the eleven year old girl didn't take lessons on the proper way of interviewing Gary Busey... Which leads us to Exhibit F!
Exhibit F: How to properly interview Gary Busey.

Exhibit G: Busey is, in a very general sense, deeply psychotic. His perception of reality is very skewed and off-kilter. We could literally go on for years and years discussing this, but that would be a huge waste of time and we don't know if that's such a good idea. Let us put it this way: We are very comfortably saying, without a hint of exaggeration or hyperbole whatsoever, that Gary Busey is by far the craziest and most psychotic individual in the entire history of the whole human race.
Hello, my name is disturbance.
So, while we are perfectly aware that this post has gotten pretty video-heavy, we can't help it. We were scanning the internets for something that would properly represent the essence, the soul, of Gary Busey.
And we think we may have found it.

This clip, entitled "Deep Inside the Mind of Busey", is deep. Very deep. So get ready, because here it comes.
Exhibit H: Deep Inside the Mind of Busey
Conclusion: Gary Busey is, in fact, completely insane.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not sure why, but I can't get the audio from any of the videos on the site to work.

9:17 PM  

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