Thank God

Jet, a two-year-old horse, got trapped in a frozen swimming pool.

Thank god this horse made it out alive:

Horse rescued from icy waters

DORSET — Police and fire officials helped an escaped horse out of a swimming pool Thursday morning after it fell through about six inches of ice.
Cpl. Gary Shuhart of the Vermont State Police said he was dispatched to Route 30 in Dorset to respond to a report of two horses in the road near the Dorset quarry and Snow Road. Shuhart said he saw both horses behind a residence on Route 30 after he was flagged down by a passerby.
One of the horses, Jet, a 6-year-old Appendix Quarter horse, had walked onto a frozen in-ground swimming pool and fallen through about 6 inches of ice. The horse had also fallen through a heavy pool cover and became trapped, Shuhart said.
The horses' owner, Janet Waite, said Jet probably did not recognize the frozen pool before falling into the three and a half feet of water. "It just looked like a meadow to him and he stepped on the ice," Waite said.
Several attempts made to free the horse were unsuccessful until a corner of the pool was cleared of ice and the pool cover removed. According to Shuhart, the horse had begun to shake uncontrollably and was losing the strength to free itself as hypothermia set in.

Shuhart said Jet was able to partially pull himself out of the pool and was then assisted by several rescuers who pulled on a rope tied around his neck. Rescuers quickly wrapped him in a blanket to protect against frigid temperatures, Shuhart said.
Jet was transported to the office of a local veterinarian where he was checked and treated for lacerations sustained while trying to escape the pool. By Thursday evening, however, the horse seemed to be doing better, Waite said.
"He cut his left hind leg and he had to have stitches on that. All of his legs are bruised from his struggle to get out of the water," Waite said. "He's better than he was. We wrapped his front legs because they were swollen."
The two horses had been fenced in but found a way out, according to Waite. She said Jet, and his 2-year-old friend, True Bluesman, would have continued to their pasture if that gate had been open.
"My back gate was open. I guess they just walked off my property," she said. "They are usually in a pasture right beside that property. They knew they were escaped. If the gate had been open to where they usually go they would have just gone there."
Waite said the two horses are very close, and True Bluesman stayed by Jet's side throughout the ordeal.
"One of the worker's said that True was so concerned that he just wanted to stay there and watch. One of the worker's tried to get him out of the way but he demanded to be there," she said.

Moral of this story: Some horse hate swimming pools, but some horses love them:

I Am God: Dabbling in Douchebaggery

Game... Set... Match... BALDWIN!!!

Lesbians Are Bad News

As if we needed more reasons...

A landmark legal battle is being fought in Britain. At the center of the heated debate is Ms. Terri Howard, a lesbian and mother of two young children.

Ms. Howard, besides being a carpetmuncher, also appears to be a backstabbing double-crosser.

Five years ago, Ms. Howard and her then-lesbian-lifemate were knee-deep in the happy, luke-warm water that is a lesbian relationship. Wanting to have children, they turned to their blue-collar firefighter friend, Andy Bathie.

The two women came to Andy with a proposition: "Get one of us pregnant so we can have un-holy lesbian children, and we will relieve you of the financial obligations of being a father."

Andy, being a caring and selfless man, gave up some of his hard-earned sperm to allow the two women to be mothers. Such a kind and beautiful act from a man who put others' needs above his own!

And how did Ms. Terri Howard repay Andy's generosity?

Well, now, she is suing Andy for child support payments after splitting up with her lesbian partner. And now, this emotionless succubus wants $900 a month from poor Andy!

The horror! This man goes out of his way to accomodate these heartless bitches. Then, after he sacrifices so very very much to satisfy their own perverted desires, how do they repay him? By slapping him across the face with a lawsuit! This type of craziness should not only be illegal, but should be punishable by death.

"These women wanted to be parents and take on the responsibilities that brings. I would never have agreed to this unless they had been a committed family. And now I can't afford to have children with my own wife. It's crippling me financially," says Andy.

He is not so much of a man anymore. Rather, he is a battered, scarred shell of his previous self. The devastation that these lesbians bring is second-to-none.

For was it not the great poet Emily Dickinson (or was it Russell Crowe?) who once said: "From the depths of the human soul, where lies the spirit which embiggens the most common of all men, also lies the desire to undermine the very righteousness of all that is good and decent. Now, get me a whiskey-and-water to go with that burrito, sunshine."