THIS JUST IN: AUSTRALIA SUCKS

Physical or mental?

When we read today's story on the internets, we didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Actually, that's not true. We did know. We laughed uncontrollably, then tried to think of a way to get rid of Australia, and then cried uncontrollably when we realized it wasn't happening anytime soon.

From the New Zealand Herald:

Aussie man glued to toilet in 'sick' prank

Aug 24, 2009

CAIRNS - Authorities in far north Queensland are outraged after a "sick joke" forced the humiliating rescue of a man who became stuck to the seat of a shopping centre toilet.

Police and community leaders have appealed for public help to find the prankster or pranksters responsible for the incident, which resulted in the 58-year-old man being taken to hospital.

Ambulance officers were called about 10.30am (AEST) on Saturday to rescue the man after he sat on toilet seat which had been smeared with a fast-acting adhesive.

He was forced to undergo the humiliation of leaving the Cairns Central shopping centre with the seat still attached to his behind, in full view of a busy crowd of Saturday morning shoppers.

Police say he was then taken to hospital where staff removed the fixture using industrial strength solvents.

The man is said to be extremely embarrassed by the ordeal.

Cairns City Council community safety committee chair Di Forsyth hit out at the offenders and called for members of the public to help identify them.

"I'm disgusted that a gentlemen has had to go through that because someone thinks it's funny - it's a sick joke," she told AAP.

"I think the community would be outraged and quite rightly so ... it's quite a dangerous prank."

Police are investigating the incident.

Yeah, right. Whatever. You stupid Australians. This is just one little raindrop in the river of your ineptitude. Longer than the Nile, wider than the Amazon, and reeking of manure like the Ganges, is there no limit to Australia's crapulence?

Haven't you learned ANYTHING from Russell Crowe?*

Whatever.

The old 419.

So, a little while ago we blogged about the old 419.


Today, we checked our email and we actually got one:

On Sat, Jun 13, 2009 at 3:17 PM, otu nabo wrote:
I will like you to help me, in the transfer of fund worth
($7.5Million) into your account, we have to share it 70%
to 30% and i believe that you can not cheat me after the
transfer, i will send you more detail about this transfer as
soon as i hear from you. pls reply at:otuu1@voila.fr

How much of an idiot would you have to be to believe this junk? People must believe it, if they've been sending emails for years and they're still doing it now... Why don't we get a real detective working on this case and take care of it once and for all.

* We are not actually sure if Russell Crowe is Australian or not. He may be.