Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Lesbians Are Bad News

As if we needed more reasons...

A landmark legal battle is being fought in Britain. At the center of the heated debate is Ms. Terri Howard, a lesbian and mother of two young children.

Ms. Howard, besides being a carpetmuncher, also appears to be a backstabbing double-crosser.

Five years ago, Ms. Howard and her then-lesbian-lifemate were knee-deep in the happy, luke-warm water that is a lesbian relationship. Wanting to have children, they turned to their blue-collar firefighter friend, Andy Bathie.

The two women came to Andy with a proposition: "Get one of us pregnant so we can have un-holy lesbian children, and we will relieve you of the financial obligations of being a father."

Andy, being a caring and selfless man, gave up some of his hard-earned sperm to allow the two women to be mothers. Such a kind and beautiful act from a man who put others' needs above his own!

And how did Ms. Terri Howard repay Andy's generosity?

Well, now, she is suing Andy for child support payments after splitting up with her lesbian partner. And now, this emotionless succubus wants $900 a month from poor Andy!

The horror! This man goes out of his way to accomodate these heartless bitches. Then, after he sacrifices so very very much to satisfy their own perverted desires, how do they repay him? By slapping him across the face with a lawsuit! This type of craziness should not only be illegal, but should be punishable by death.

"These women wanted to be parents and take on the responsibilities that brings. I would never have agreed to this unless they had been a committed family. And now I can't afford to have children with my own wife. It's crippling me financially," says Andy.

He is not so much of a man anymore. Rather, he is a battered, scarred shell of his previous self. The devastation that these lesbians bring is second-to-none.

For was it not the great poet Emily Dickinson (or was it Russell Crowe?) who once said: "From the depths of the human soul, where lies the spirit which embiggens the most common of all men, also lies the desire to undermine the very righteousness of all that is good and decent. Now, get me a whiskey-and-water to go with that burrito, sunshine."


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