King of the Road

He's a man of means.

We are dangerously close to getting our 20,000th visitor here at HPO.

What does this mean?

Well, above all else, it means there are roughly 20,000 people on this planet who are a bit stupider than they were before they read whatever they read on this site.

Since the humble beginnings of this forward-leaning blog, we have never tooted our own horn, nor have we become overly adamant about our self-proclaimed success (or lack thereof). Over the past 9 months, we have discussed many deeply philosophical worldly problems. We have tried to create an air of semi-professionalism, despite being amateurs, in the most basic sense of the word. This blog was featured in our favorite newspaper, but then again we were also called "the second-worst blog in East-Central Illinois" by a publication whose name we shan't mention.

When looking back at some of the finer work done here at HPO, many memorable posts come to mind:

• Tom Cruise
• monkey invaders
• raccoons-a-poppin
• Chicken Night
• Dougie

There have been many memorable characters since we started here at HPO, but our favorite nominee for "The Jackass of the Year Award" has to be the best damn fascist dictator since Big Daddy:

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, that internet-banning, student-imprisoning, nuclear-weapon-manufacturing, Jew-hating, America-cursing, woman-oppressing, Russian collaborator and Middle Eastern hothead.

What's there not to be amused with?

Not only is Mahmoud a walking contradiction-in-terms, but he could very well be the man who will end up being responsible for the end of the world.

They're fuzzy and cute until they tear into your jugular.

After Mahmoud, our second-favorite politician has to be Evo Morales, the cocaine-farming Aymara president of Bolivia. Not only are South American political relations inherently amusing, but Evo always seems to be causing a commotion. That one time he dressed a little too casual for a meeting with the King of Spain, who himself is a deranged psychopathic monster that enjoys murdering innocent animals? Hilarity. Evo is a llama-herding, trumpet-playing walking clown show, and we love him here at HPO.

Plus, he's got that goofy haircut. It looks like his mom cuts his hair. Somebody issue a squirrel alert.