That Thing Is Pointy, Fellas

A ding-dang-doo!

Faithful readers of this website will remember the story of P. Selvakumar, the man who married his dog. The more scrutinous of you readers may also remember a certain Mr. Tombe, aka "The Sudanese Goatfucker," who ended up being forced to marry a goat. Sadly, his goat-wife (named Rose) no longer provides him with goat-loving: "Rose has since died after choking on a plastic bag while eating scraps on the streets of Juba."

Oh, Lord, the humanity! You giveth and you taketh away - but to deprive a man of his un-holy goat-wife is living hell. Have mercy on our goat-marrying souls, o powerful one - Hoobabakanda!!!

There's something wrong with my pants.

Which leads us to today's story:

Bulgarian farmer swaps wife for goat

The day before a friend told me that he has had no luck with women and that he really liked my wife," says the 54-year-old. "The deal was reached when my wife gave her approval.
"The goat has given birth to three kids and my wife to none.
"So this deal was more profitable to the goat owner, I got a second-hand goat and he got a brand new wife."
A luckless Bulgarian farmer who was been married three times has decided to try his hand at marriage one last time - with a goat.
Stoil Panayotov exchanged his third wife with Elena the eight-year-old goat at a livestock market in March - because she couldn't provide him with a child.
The extraordinary deal was concluded in front of a stunned crowd in the market town of Plovdiv, central Bulgaria.The day before a friend told me that he has had no luck with women and that he really liked my wife," says the 54-year-old. "The deal was reached when my wife gave her approval.
"The goat has given birth to three kids and my wife to none.
"So this deal was more profitable to the goat owner, I got a second-hand goat and he got a brand new wife."

Ah yes, Bulgaria strikes gold once again. Where would we be without Bulgaria? Well, we wouldn't be reading stories about men swapping their wives for goats, that's for sure. So, why would he swap his wife for a goat, anyways?

The answer, of course, is so he could be able to do this: