I Now Pronounce You Man and Bitch

In sickness and in health...

P.Selvakumar, a man from southern India, married a dog earlier this week in an attempt to ward off a "curse." Selvakumar claims that he has lost his hearing and become partially paralyzed after stoning two dogs to death for "having sex in one of his rice paddies" 15 years ago.

The dog he married, named Selvi, was dressed in traditional Hindu clothes at the ceremony. Her bubbly bridesmaids spent the morning preparing the hound so she would make her husband proud. As the rites were performed, the groom beamed with happiness, and the bride scratched behind her ear with her hind paw, obviously bothered by what probably was a tick. Rice was thrown, blessings were given, and a feast was enjoyed by the groom and his family (the dog was given a bun).

But the lovely bride was not without some pre-marital jitters: During the ceremony, the dog ran away and had to be chased and caught before returning to her future husband to complete the wedding rites.

Wedding guests speculated as to the canine's motives for fleeing at the last second, some citing nervousness, others claiming the dog was running away from the financial instability of her new life. Some guests even hypothesized that the dog simply got scared of the crowds.

Whatever the case may be, the newlyweds plan on spending the rest of their long lives together in happiness and fidelity. If that doesn't work, the groom will try to find a human wife after the curse wears off.

Either one.