Important News Stories

Buckle up.

OK, so Israel is gonna bomb Iran, we got that whole Darfur thing going on, and Mugabe is still reckless and out of control in Zimbabwe, but all that stuff has got to wait, because we only discuss important and globally-minded news stories on this blog.

Like this one, for instance:

Man, dog in car survive plunge down remote cliff

LONDON - Authorities said a man and his dog in a car survived a 200-foot fall down a remote cliff in southern England early Sunday morning. Local police believe the man was thrown clear of his vehicle when it fell halfway down the cliff, near the town of Swanage.

They said the man was found barely conscious near the crumpled wreckage of his vehicle. The car had crashed onto a large ledge on the cliff face. Both the man's legs were broken.
The coast guards say the man's dog, a black New Zealand sheepdog named Zin Zan, could not be found. The dog later made its own way home and was discovered underneath the kitchen table.

Now that's the type of ridiculousness that usually only comes from Australia. But, then again, it gives us a great opportunity to post a related Jack Handey video, which is too good of an opportunity to pass up. This one's a blast from the past.



Ah, Toonces. Where have you gone? You provided so many quality hours of comic relief with your carefree attitude and your cocksure alley-cattin'. What ever happened to the good old days, where any depiction of animals doing human things passed as reputable comedy?

A pattern is forming...

Sometimes, life is so hard. You can have so much responsibility in your life, so many things to take care of and so many different tasks to achieve, it can be hard to get anything done. Sometimes life is so hard.

But then, other times life is pretty easy. In fact, sometimes (usually through a stroke of luck or some other chance happening) life is so easy that you ONLY HAVE ONE THING THAT YOU NEED TO CONCENTRATE ON. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING ELSE AT ALL - ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SIT THERE. FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND DECENT, HOW DIFFICULT CAN IT ACTUALLY BE?!?!?!

Sudoku-playing jurors ruin trial

SYDNEY (Reuters) - An Australian drugs trial lasting more than three months and costing taxpayers over A$1 million ($947,000) has been aborted after a number of jurors were found to have spent up to half the time playing Sudoku puzzles.

Sydney District Court Judge Peter Zahra cancelled the trial of two men on drugs conspiracy charges after the jury foreperson admitted that four to five jurors had been playing the addictive number sequence game, local media reported. The judge was alerted after some of the jurors were observed writing their notes vertically, rather than horizontally. The game involves completing a grid of numbers in the correct sequence.
One juror said the game helped them to pay more attention by keeping their mind busy.
"Some of the evidence is rather drawn out and I find it difficult to maintain my attention the whole time," the juror was quoted saying by the Australian Associated Press.
A new trial is expected to begin in a few weeks once a new jury has been called.