Russian Generals Too Fat For New Uniforms

Have another one.

When we read this story on the wire this morning, it didn't really shock us at all. We are attaching the full article here:

Russian generals will soon have a stylish new uniform designed by a top fashion designer, but the question is: Will they fit?

More than 30% of the army's elite officers are overweight and 25% failed a fitness test, army spokesperson Vyacheslav Sedov said on Wednesday.

The army will now launch a fitness drive as it prepares to move over to a stylish uniform designed by top fashion designer Valentin Yudashkin. "The new military uniform should match what is inside it," said Sedov.

The army will build gyms, swimming pools and sports halls to get the podgy and under-exercised officers back in form, said Sedov.

The fitness tests were organised by Vladimir Shamanov, an officer alleged to have overseen widespread human rights abuses while helping to lead Russia's crushing of Chechen rebels. Officers were tested on their running, swimming and shooting skills.

Shamanov said that the unfit officers need more physical exercises, particularly aerobic exercises, daily newspaper Kommersant reported.

The army will also launch a campaign "to cultivate the culture of sport in the armed forces", said Sedov. -- AFP

Right. Sounds pretty reasonable. Russian generals too fat for clothes - let's get them back into shape. The only problem is, this is Russia we're talking about here. In Russia, things don't exactly work the same as they do in most other countries in the world. Why? Because Russia is the worst country in the world!!!

If you read the above article carefully, you'll notice it says that the new conditioning program for the tubby officers is being adminstered by Vladimir Shamanov, "an officer alleged to have overseen widespread human rights abuses while helping to lead Russia's crushing of Chechen rebels."

That sounds dandy!

But, since we are big believers in the fact that a picture says a thousand words, instead of just writing about how messed-up Russia is, we will just post some videos which speak for themselves. Now, we don't want to seem like we are being unfair or prejudiced against any country or group of people - but's it's been proven on many, many occasions by the most acknowledged experts in the world that all Russian people, without error or exception, are uncontrollable drunks who are drawn to vodka like nails to a magnet.