Your Leg Is Mine, Not Yours

Hugo and Mahmoud are good pals.

Hugo Chavez, shown above lost in the magic moment of a genuine manhug, is the president of Venezuela. He is also a staunch opponent of America and its tyrannical president, George Walker Bush.

But now, apparently he is a singer too. He has released a CD of himself singing "traditional Venezuelan songs."

Yes, traditional Venezuelan Songs like "It's Raining Men."

So, here is the only thing we could find that remotely resembles Commandante Chavez singing. It's pretty awkward, and "El Presidente" seems to have a very hands-on approach to the young man who he is singing with:


In other news, today's story is about the strangest and most ridiculous we have heard in a long, long, loooooong time.

Two men in North Carolina are feuding because they both claim that they are the rightful owners of one of the men's amputated legs, which was left in a barbeque smoker that one of the men sold to the other.

Please, dear reader: If you do anything worthwhile today, anything at all, read this story. It's pretty amazingly ridiculous.

Just how amazingly ridiculous is it? Well, it's as amazingly ridiculous as a scuba-diving horse:

The flippers on his hooves are a nice touch.

Ok, so we understand why the owner of the leg is upset. It was his arm in the first place, and not only did he go through the process of "mummifying it and then drying it in his front yard", but he wants to get buried with it. In all fairness, he lost that leg in the same plane crash that killed his father.

We would want it back, too. (NOTE: "We" refers to the royal 'we', aka the editorial 'we').

But, then again, the guy who found the leg in the barbeque has a pretty solid case, too: "It's a strange incident and Halloween's just around the corner. The price will go up if I get the leg."

Not only that, but he is offering the original owner "joint custody" of the amputated leg. Hell, it seems like a perfectly fair solution to us.

Drunkenness.

According to Modern Drunkard magazine, 90% of all drunken incidents are entirely preventable. We'd venture a guess and say that this news story is part of that 90%:

"Burglar" turns out to be drunk neighbor

AMSTERDAM (Reuters) - A man in an eastern Dutch town went home last Saturday to find his lights on and his inebriated neighbor welcoming him at the front door with a drink.
The drunken 53-year old, who lives two doors down in the small town of Gasselternijveen, had broken into the wrong house after finding that his key didn't work, according to a police report. His furniture looked different, his dog was missing.
The drunken neighbor was arrested for trespass, but has since offered to pay for damages.

And, to close off today's post, we include a video clip of George W Bush giving a speech. A pretty damn good speech. Actually, it's not so much a speech as it is a stand-up comedy routine, but this impressed the pants off of us. Enjoy the moron president in rare form, for as a friend of this website once said, "The coliseum gets noisy at times, yet it seems to find time for the common man."

Bushy: