The Police Are Hard-Working, Honest

Officer, what seems to be the problem?

This story came over the horn from Brussels, the capital of the European Union and a shining beacon of class and dignity, a model for the rest of the world:

No brothel visits when on duty, Belgian police told

BRUSSELS (Reuters) - Police patrolling the red-light district of the Belgian capital have been ordered to stop visiting brothels and drinking in bars when on duty.
A letter sent to officers in Brussels' northern police district, and published in a Belgian daily on Tuesday, urged them to set a good example and earn the public's respect.
"These officers think their duty hours are to be used to drink alcohol in bars, practice sports..., visit brothels or massage parlours, and entertain (intimate) relationships with residents of the neighborhood during their patrol," said the letter from a local police chief.
"It is only by setting a good example that the police can make itself respected," the letter said, urging officers to adopt more conservative behaviour.
A police spokesman confirmed the letter was authentic, but said the police chief had only reacted to rumours of officers behaving badly while on duty.
"There was no concrete evidence to substantiate any wrongdoing by police officers ... If there had been, they would have been prosecuted," said spokesman Roland Thiebauld.

Hey, good work guys! Way to put those tax dollars to good work. We kinda wish our job was to walk the streets of the red light district, stopping in to all the local saloons and whore-houses, having a quick whiskey or an elegant rub-n-tug before we even had our first coffee...

Have another one, Kwasniewski.

Former Polish president Aleksander Kwasniewski got himself in trouble again...

Actually, to be more precise, former Polish president Aleksander Kwasniewski's uncontrollable desire to constantly be drunk got him into trouble again, as he gave a speech on a nationally-televised montage show earlier this month.

Pretty much every country in the world denounced his atrocious behavior during his speech about relations with Ukraine, but Kwasniewski claims he did no wrong, despite the slurred speech and absent-mindedness.

Kwasniewski, who appeared on the speech as lit up as a Christmas tree, denies being drunk. However, he did admit that he "may have had a glass of wine or maybe 10." But, according to the former president, that does not warrant an apology from him: "I have the right to do what I want. I am a free man."

Very true, Mr. President. We can show up for work drunk, just like you can. Only difference is, we would not get our paycheck at the end of the month if we spent our work hours drinking wine and womanizing, like you do.

Here is a brief translation of what he said during his drunken ramblings about Ukraine:

"Looking into the eyes of your women, one must be careful. The question is: Is time going faster than we think? I'll say it in French... In French, savoir vivre. This means that it is poss... possible. Now I'll tell you how I was wah... worried... Oh, nevermind."