Thursday, October 25, 2007

More Reasons To Hate Australia

Boobs are fun.
We here at HPO have always been fans of breastststststs. In fact, we think they're great. They should be celebrated and praised. Songs of glory should be sung, sculptures should be carved, sacrifices should be made. To be honest, we think that 90% of the world agrees with us.
Not in Australia. We have the proof right here:
Court fines bare-breasted Aussie barmaid
CANBERRA (Reuters) - An Australian barmaid has been fined for crushing beer cans between her bare breasts while an off-duty colleague has been fined for hanging spoons from her friend's nipples, police said on Wednesday.
Police in Western Australia said the 31-year old barmaid pleaded guilty in the local magistrate's court to twice exposing her breasts to patrons at the Premier Hotel in Pinjarra, south of the state capital, Perth.
The woman "is alleged to have also crushed beer cans between her breasts during one of the offences", in breach of hotel licensing laws, police from the Peel district of Western Australia said in a statement.
The barmaid and the hotel manager were both fined A$1,000 ($900), while an off-duty barmaid was fined A$500 for helping to hang spoons from the woman's nipples, police said.
"It sends a clear message to all licensees in Peel that we will not tolerate this type of behavior in our licensed premises," local police superintendent David Parkinson said.
Where's the harm in this? A woman has the god-given talent of being able to crush aluminum cans in between her own cans, and she gets fined for it?! The government should be paying her for this amazing skill set.
This is ridiculous. And, to add insult to injury, her co-worker gets fined for being her accomplice and hanging spoons on her nipples. Seriously, Australia must be the only country where it is illegal to hang spoons on somebody's nipples.
Grow up, Australia.

We know who we're not voting for.

Elections are just around the corner in Australia, so maybe somebody will step into power and get rid of this ridiculous ban on bare-breasted beer-crushing. Hopefully. Please. God. Do something.

But, unfortunately, one of the leading candidates for Prime Minister of Australia, Kevin Rudd, finds himself in the middle of a scandal after television cameras caught him digging into his ear and eating his earwax.


The Washington Post called it "stomach churning." Fellow Australians are calling it "bloody disgusting." HPO is calling it another reason to hate Australia.

Here is the footage of the future leader of Australia eating his earwax, 6-year-old style:


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