Mamma Mia - Italians Boycott Pasta

Fahgedabowdit...

In a move that is as shocking as it is unstereotypical, Italians worldwide have gone on a pasta boycott to protest against rising prices. Giving up one of their favorite foods won't be easy, say Italians, but the symbolic gesture is intended to be a message to the government to intervene.

"Pasta, bread, milk - these are the most important things. We are not protesting for perfumes or jewels," said, Marisa, at a Rome protest. Clemente Mastella, the Italian justice minister, had promised to support the cause by skipping his favourite Neapolitan dish of pasta tubes stuffed with tomatoes and ricotta cheese. Carlo Pileri, of the ADOC consumer group, said: "The pasta strike is symbolic, a call for Italians to make a sacrifice - to sacrifice something we can't give up, even when we travel abroad."

Extra pepperoni!

But what if the pasta strike doesn't work? What if spaghetti prices continue to skyrocket? Always thinking one step ahead, those crafty Italians have a backup plan. If necessary, they are ready to shave their greasy moustaches, start importing anti-perspirant, stop working as plumbers, and making possession of an eggplant a criminal offense.

President Bush was in Australia for the APEC summit last week. First of all, why does America even bother trying diplomatic relations with Australia? Why be friends with those kangaroo-eaters in the first place? It makes no sense. Anyways, Dubya was in rare form, first mistaking APEC for OPEC, then making the classic "Austria - Australia" mix-up. Finally, at the end of his speech, Bush reminds us of his true intellectual prowess by attempting to leaving the stage the wrong way.

Yee-haw.