Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Iran is Sensible and Full of Logic

Mahmoud uses the power of his beard to trick a Jew into agreeing with him.

Our favorite moronic sacrilegious dictator Middle-Eastern politician, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, has again proved that he has an ace up his sleeve by instating a limit on gasoline consumption in Iran.

The country has vast oil reserves, and a gallon of automobile fuel costs around 38 cents. But, for some reason that we can't figure out, Dr. Ahmadinejad has made a law saying that nobody can buy more than 26 gallons of fuel a month.

What do the people of Iran think of this decision?

"This man, Ahmadinejad, has damaged all things. The timing of the rationing is just one case," said Reza Khorrami, a 27-year-old teacher

"Is this good timing, to announce rationing only three hours before it starts?" complained Ahmad Safai, a 30-year-old shopkeeper. "I had no gas in my car's tank when I heard the report."

Yes, it seems like the President may have lost his mind. Iran has some of the biggest oil reserves in the world, yet it is still severely lacking in production capabilities to harvest the wealth of petroleum buried underneath its land.

So, now an updated list of Dr. Ahmadinejad's political resume:
  • He wants to "wipe Israel off the map" because of "the Zionist Regime's human responsibility for the oppressed people of Palestine"
  • He also, coincidentally, wants to enrich uranium for "peaceful purposes"
  • He wants to create a women-only island
  • He kills gay people
  • He throws teachers and students in jail
  • He has sexual intercourse with sheep
  • He instates a limit on the amount of gas you can buy in a month

Evo and Mahmoud.

Evo Morales, pictured above wearing a humorous hat, is a close friend of Dr. Ahmadinejad, pictured above indicating with his fingers how many Jews he feeds to his chickens every day.

In fact, Evo is planning a trip to Russia and Iran to try and sell some of Bolivia's oil to his sick and twisted buddies, Mahmoud and Putin. (Note: Given the fact that Evo Morales sleeps on his sister's couch and has his shirts ironed by his mother, we don't know how he is capable of planning a trip to the ice cream truck, let alone the middle east.)

Supposedly, the purpose of the tip is to push investment in Bolivian oil drilling onto Russia and Iran... But why would those countries want to do this? Doesn't Russia have its own problems to worry about?

Suspiciously, Evo's trip coincides with his good buddy Hugo Chavez's trip to Iran and Russia to purchase missiles for a new defense system...

This could get ugly, fast.


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