Everyone knows Arnold is a manimal.
This guy is just a beast. There's really no other way of putting it. The above video, which is from the documentary Pumping Iron, shows Arnold training for the foregone conclusion that was the 1975 Mr. Olympia competition. Putting on an unforgettable performance, the future governor of California terminated his opponents, which included known names such as Lou Ferrigno, Ken Waller, and Franco "The Galloping Wop" Columbo. The man is just a beast.
A big HPO thank you goes out to our New York correspondent, Ophelia Johnson, for finding that video clip.
If this clip teaches us anything, it's that Arnold is a very intelligent man, with a knack for adapting to foreign cultures. But we already knew that. What we didn't know, however, is that Arnold does not give a shit about the commonly-accepted rules of social behavior.
He just doesn't care. We counted at least four arrestable offenses in that video, some of them felonies. When we try to pull that kind of crap while on vacation, the police arrive, usually within 15 minutes. Neighbors get upset, children start crying, things fall apart... It just shouldn't happen.
The Colonel inspects his troops.
We have learned, courtesy of our Wikipedia expert known only as "The Blue Pig", that the Norwegian Army has a penguin that holds the rank of Colonel-In-Chief. Before you dismiss this story as nothing but a bunch of lies, please note the little penguin armband he is wearing, which holds his medal.
While the penguin, named Nils Olaf, has never actually served in military combat, he remains a highly respected field commander amongst his troops. Despite having literally no formal military training whatsoever, Norwegian still feel comfortable with a slightly overweight bird leading their boys into battle.
We personally think Sergeant Stubby would tear him apart, but Sergeant Stubby's taking a dirt nap, so I guess we'll never know.