Today in Politics
Dr. Ahmadinejad is definitely not insane.
So, based on what has transpired over the past several years, let us give you a summary of the President of Iran's political agenda:
- He wants to "wipe Israel off the map" because of "the Zionist Regime's human responsibility for the oppressed people of Palestine"
- He also, coincidentally, wants to enrich uranium for "peaceful purposes"
- He wants to create a women-only island
- He kills gay people
- He throws teachers and students in jail
- He has sexual intercourse with sheep
We remind you at this time that all of the above are true. Except for the sheep... That hasn't yet been confirmed. But all the rest of them are true.
Speaking of politicians who are definitely not insane, Evo Morales (pictured above wearing a funny hat and necklace made out of cocaine leaves) is in the news again. This time, he is campaigning for international courts to force The Coca-Cola Company to change its name. The problem, according to Morales, is that the coca leaf (which is commonly used in Bolivia) has been villainized by the rest of the world, and corporations should be forced to "refrain from using the name of the sacred leaf in their products."
Since the secret formula for Coca-Cola is top-secret, nobody knows for sure whether coca is used as an ingredient of Coke. But rumors abound that The Coca-Cola Company in Atlanta had warehouses of it.
However, we think it is difficult for Bolivia to bring The Coca-Cola Company to its knees: Bolivia's GDP is $25.684 billion, and The Coca-Cola Company makes about $24.088 billion a year. Add to that the value of the Coca-Cola name, and the fact that Coke has been selling for over 100 years, and you have a pretty big mountain to move. Good luck, Evo.