Thank God For Vodka

Kick his ass, Sea-bass.

The subject matter of this post is kind of bittersweet. Why bittersweet? Because here at HPO, we love vodka, but we hate Australians. Actually, it wouldn't be a stretch to say that we really, really love vodka, and we really, really hate Australian people.

Whenever you "decide" to wrestle a shark, we always thought it requires the complex reasoning and analytical skills of the human brain. Apparently, it doesn't. Phillip Kerkhof, a forty year old man from Australia, jumped into the water and wrestled a shark after drinking many, many vodka drinks at the local saloon.

If there's a lesson to be learned here, it's this: all Australians, without exception, are degenerate alcoholics who abuse animals and need to be avoided at all costs Sharks and their habitats should be handled with caution.

We decided to dig a little deeper. According to the International Shark Attack File, a comprehensive authority on the danger of sharks, more than one-third of all shark attacks occur in Florida or Australia... Very interesting. Is this a product of the local ecosystem and the higher number of sharks in the waters? Or, is the increased rate of attacks a result of the mental incompetence of Floridians and Australians?

Well, the answer to that isn't very easy to figure out. We just have no idea how these things happen. How do you put yourself in that kind of position? Is it that easy to get a shark to swallow your entire body, head-first?

This video is originally from a radio broadcast, but the idiot that posted it on youtube has some serious language problems. The spelling is atrocious, the grammar is suspect, and the punctuation looks like something Christopher Walken would put together. A total disaster, but still humorous.

The file can be downloaded over at studio360.