Here's to feeling good all the time...
No word on whether the dog has to be 21 in dog years to buy a beer.
Way to do the community a service, you mindless pervert!
Isn't it charming that an officer of the law is free to entertain the most disgusting of his sick, twisted fantasies under the light of the Florida moon? Isn't this exactly the kind of thing that people get chopped to pieces for doing in Cambodia?
What a way to punch your one-way express ticket to hell.
You are a degenerate, Officer Shields. Florida was already hated for its trashy accent, cheap tatoos, and ankle socks, but you just added "pederast police" to that long list.
Go sit on a tack.
People of Mars, you say we are brutes and savages. But let me tell you one thing: if I could get loose from this cage you have me in, I would tear you guys a new Martian asshole.You say we are violent and barbaric, but has any one of you come up to my cage and extended his hand? Because, if he did, I would jerk it off and eat it right in front of him. "Mmm, that's good Martian," I would say.
You say your civilization is more advanced than ours. But who is really the more "civilized" one? You, standing there watching this cage? Or me, with my pants down, trying to urinate on you? You criticize our Earth religions, saying they have no relevance to the way we actually live. But think about this: if I could get my hands on that god of yours, I would grab his skinny neck and choke him until his big green head exploded.
We are a warlike species, you claim, and you show me films of Earth battles to prove it. But I have seen all the films about twenty times. Get some new films, or, so help me, if I ever get out of here I will empty my laser pistol into everyone I see, even pets.
For those of you that are interested, here is the rest of the article.