Linger On...

Sometimes, you just can't get off the floor.

Well, hits have been down for the past couple of weeks. This undoubtedly has something to do with the increase in the crappiness of the material on this site. We won't embarrass ourelves further by attempting a half-assed apology. For a second, we were even tempted to go with Koch's rocksteady remedy for times when hits are down, but we couldn't scrape up the motivation for that, either.

So, one of our piss-poor compensation methods was to try and trump up the appearance of the blog. The best we could come up with was a scrolling Deep Thoughts table in our sidebar. Now kids, if you were born after 1988, you probably have no idea that Saturday Night Live was once a good show. They had classic pieces: Father Guido Sarducci, Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer, Canteen Boy, Coffee Talk with Linda Richman, and the Anally Retentive Chef...

And they had this thing called "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey." Which was probably the funniest out of all of them, even though it was just a filler. Anyways, because the guy's name was Jack Handey, everybody assumed he was another fictitious SNL character.

But he wasn't. Jack Handey is a real person, just like you or us or Barbara Streisand.

The art of the one-liner requires finesse and grace to work properly.

He has his own wikipedia article, and we all know that you have to believe everything you read on wikipedia. Hell, they even ran one of his articles in The New Yorker... It's about various ideas of his for paintings. We think it's pretty damn funny.

He even his own website, where they publish a bunch of his deep thoughts. Some of them are pretty funny.

Read and learn, kids. You will thank us later.