Friday, December 08, 2006


This monkey owns your town.
At least, finally, someone seems to have come to their senses about the growing monkey infestation in New Delhi, India. The monkeys have taken over the city due to deforestation. And, since most Indian people consider monkeys to be descendants of the monkey-god Hanuman, they can't kill the monkeys, and instead feed them bananas, peanuts, and ice cream.
So now, according to our favorite newspaper, a top Indian court has reprimanded the city. A class-action suit filed by citizens of an infected neighborhood asked the government, "what measure were being formulated to find a permanent solution to the monkey menace in the capital?"
While this is far from stopping the problem, we here at HPO feel it is a good start. At least maybe the monkey will stop throwing poo and dropping flowerpots on people's heads...

She ain't a lady if she ain't 180...

Some people are just rednecks. Sometimes there's no other way to describe it. Some people are just hicks. After we read this story, we didn't quite know what to think. And, apparently, this sort of thing is common around those parts. We guess that's what it's like to live in West Point, Mississippi.

Here's the full story:

Man Throws 60-Pound Pig At Hotel Workers

December 7, 2006

WEST POINT, Miss. -- Pig tossing has the police stumped in West Point, Miss. Kevin Pugh, 20, was fined $279 this week for tossing a 60-pound pig over the counter at the Holiday Inn Express on Nov. 12. West Point Police Lt. Danny McCaskill said, "It must be some redneck thing."

McCaskill said no one was hurt, including the pig. He said it's silliest thing he's ever seen.

Pugh pleaded guilty Tuesday in city court to a charge of disturbing the peace. There's no evidence intoxication was a factor. McCaskill said Pugh called the incident a prank.

It's the second recent pig throwing and fourth animal tossing incident in town. Two of the incidents involved opossum.

McCaskill said he's never heard of anything like it. Pugh is also accused in an animal throwing incident at a Hardee's restaurant.

He's pleaded not guilty and is due in court later this month.

We hate Hardee's...

Parades and alcohol: A winning combination.

And, in our final story, a guy named David Allen Rogers wins the prestigious "Arrested for most things at once" Award, which is really tough to do without being completely wrecked.

David racked up "more than three dozen" charges in just twenty short minutes while taking part in a Christmas parade. David, who was driving a float with his own children on board at the time, was steaming drunk (open container in the float) and decided to pass the next float in front of him in a parade.

Now, we don't know the parade rulebook very well, but we're pretty sure that one of the most important rules has to do with not passing other floats. It's a parade, not the Indy 500.

So David's flying "down Main Street," boozing it up with a gang of terrified kids on his float, when he runs a red light, jumps some train tracks, leads the police on a long chase, and then manfully resists arrest before getting restrained.

He got hit with the kitchen sink, including DUI, resisting arrest, failure to stop, assaulting an officer, and 18 kidnapping counts.

Roger's only quote was, "I made a very bad judgment on my part."

That was during his bond hearing.


It's almost ice-fishing time...


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