Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Sense and Senselessness

Don't hold your breath.
So, after finally receiving our 20,000th hit here at HPO, we really don't know how to react. Looking back on the past year, all those monkey stories, all those Japanese people, all those midgets... we don't really know what to make of it all. But, we're happy that this blog is still a "floater", and we are thankful for ever day that we have it. In fact, we have even been considering purchasing a miniature horse to celebrate.

"Many dogs" are larger than this horse.

Well, we were thinking of buying a miniature horse, until we actually did some research. It turns out that most miniature horses cost upwards of $1,500... And that's just for some average, non-accomplished joe-schmoe miniature. A horse with any type of prestigious pedigree costs a lot more than that - and any semi-legitimate champion miniature thoroughbred can cost as much as a car.

So, needless to say, we withdrew our bid for purchasing a horse... Especially since one could purchase any of a number of monkeys for the same price, and considering that miniature horses are not exactly the best-behaved beasts in the barnyard.

OK, we understand the problem, but who shoots a miniature horse? Come on, jackass. If your full-size horses are getting injured by a miniature horse, you don't need to shoot the miniature horse; you need to shoot your own horses.

It's like a midget roughing up Mike Tyson... It ain't the midget's problem, that's for sure.

"Drive it like you stole it."

Not surprisingly, there is a US Lawn Mower Racing Association. Surprisingly, mower racing came over from Britain. According to Failure Magazine, this sport is really taking off. Drivers have been clocked at over 80 mph, which is pretty damn fast to be going on a lawnmower. Why people would ever do this is beyond us....

But, then again, we can think of things that are slightly more meaningless than this.


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