Friday, November 10, 2006

Comments on Wordly Affairs

Anti-Semitic cats.

Before we begin our ranting and raving, we'd like to again thank all of our readers for contributing with quality information for this post. And when we say quality information, we mean "things that are idiotic enough to be considered acceptable by the average reader of this site, whose IQ is equal to the average over-under line for an NFL game." Honorable mentions go out to the following HPO correspondants for helping with this post: Graham "Crackers" Stephen, Jelly "Girl's Name" Stacey, A.M. "my last name's Robinson, but I'm not black" Robinson, and the man known only as "The Blue Pig."

Our first entertaining find is a website called "Cats-that-look-like-Hitler-dot-com." If the name wasn't descriptive enough, we assure you that on this website, you will find many pictures of cats that look like Hitler. The picture above is the top-rated cat that looks like "he's going to get up and invade Poland."

But all jokes aside, we remind you all that Hitler was not a good man, and there is nothing funny about him at all... He was the cold-minded systematic architect of the murders of hundreds of thousands of innocent women and children. He was the devil. Which is also partly why we here at HPO bash men such as Fidel Castro and Evo Morales. Morales is one step away from Hugo Chavez, who is just one step away from al-Assad, who is one step away from Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. These are evil, evil men who could potentially be the next Hitlers, and we feel it is our duty to expose these evil, tyrannical dictators (and all cats who look like them).

Same barber?

But, in all honesty, that's a pretty amusing idea for a website. It's a lot better than that site about cats in sinks, which in our humble opinion would be a lot better if it was about cats in toilets.

Get her motor running, and she could suck-start a leaf blower.

All-American Hot Pipe Dr. Hunter S. Thompson once said, "I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs, and insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me." Well, a man known as the "Polish Borat" has taken this a step further, degenerating to random acts of sexual assault over in England. His defense, he claims, is that this sort of grab-assing is completely normal and wouldn't be considered disrespectful over in Poland.

Now, while it is a well known fact that Polish girls are the most beautiful in the world (Suck it, Nicaragua!), this type of raging perversion is probably a bad thing... But, then again, there are worse mistakes you can make (we're looking in your direction, Tennessee).


Blogger Schwenny said...

mr. hot ross pipes,

i'm sorry dude, but you are just another one of the millions of americans that have no idea what happens outside their own country.

so stick with the mindless comedy about cats. because when you try to be serious and discuss world politics, your true idiocy comes through.

5:50 PM  
Blogger Schwenny said...


I apologize in advance, since I'm sure I will get some sort of response from you. It is not your fault that you don't know what goes on in south america. Our country doesn't know, we aren't told.

I wrote my first comment before I read a lot of you blog, so I figured your Evo bashing was a random event. However, you actually do seem to have knowledge of world events, or at least what we know.

I just have to disagree with most of what you have been saying about south america.

The people of south america, namely in Colombia and Bolivia, are not actually stupid enough to use the cocaine they produce. Only americans are that stupid. People, in general, don't have drug addiction problems there.

Coca is not the problem. Bolivians chew it, the high is no worse than the high from a cup of coffee. I know, I have done it. It keeps them awake and motivated to work, like we use coffee for. It is that common. The people that think coca is the cause of drug problems in the United States are lost. The problem is the drug users.

To me, Evo Morales seems to be tamer than the leaders South American countries are used to. The guy wants to get control of the country's natural resources, so companies from the US aren't in control. So of course, he is then painted in a negative light here, seemingly anti-US. He, and the people aren't anti-US, they are just against the United States' empire.

Chavez, yes, he seems to be a lunatic. But I don't think morales is all that chummy with him. They share some of the same ideas about not lelying on the United States, but Chavez has proven to be a bad ally in politics down there. In the Peruvian election, Ollanta, a leftist, lost the runoff election because Chavez backed him, and this scared people off. This was actually good, since Ollanta seemed to me like a Chavez type lunatic. I don't think Morales wants too much to do with him. If Morales turns out to be a wacko, I was wrong, and I will admit it, but I don't think so.

Basically, everything I had ever read about South America wasn't true. So it is no wonder we were wrong about what weapons Iraq had. And it makes me wonder what the rest of the world is actually like. Everything I think I know about the world needs to be re-evaluated.

9:29 PM  
Blogger Ross McLochness said...

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your comments. However, in my defense, allow me to first say that 95% of the sources used by this site for confirmation of information of a political nature comes from liberal press sources from outside the US. It is simply more reliable.

Secondly, when you say Evo Morales "isn't all that chummy" with Chavez, you apparently either are ignorant of, or do not see the significance in, Morales's frequent visits to Havana to dine with men like Castro, Chavez, and Handal. You seem to be happilly unaware of Evo's self-proclaimed "Axis of Good" and "Axis of Evil". While it is true that he is leader of the cocalero movement, which is not directly tied to drug-dealing, and we agree that his hydrocarbon policy is not inherently bad, it is undeniably true that the man is pushing certain policies that are pretty Communist (agrarian reform, nationalisation of major industry sectors).

So, please, spare me the trivial chit-chat and petty accusations of my lack of knowledge of world politics or history.

When we make fun of Evo, it's not because we "have no idea what happens outside" America. We make fun of him because we do have an idea, and because he is a funny guy - the anti-Americanism, the funny sweater, the coca, the haircut.

We make fun of him because he calls himself a Communist. And, since most people (through no fault of their own) are so blissfully blind and thoughtlessly ignorant of the evils of real, die-hard Communism, we here at HPO feel we need to comment on it.

Communism is the worst thing that ever happened to this planet. We need to stop it.

7:47 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home