Panda-monium

Gu Gu won't tolerate any of your shit.

Ok, this just came in from the AP wire and it was too good not to post. There were many titles used by the various newspapers who ran this story world-wide, but our favorite lead comes from the Washington Post:

Next time you're drunk at the zoo, remember this story.

Here's your summary: Drunk hugs bear, bear bites drunk, drunk bites bear, bear bites drunk again, bear sprayed by hose, drunk taken to hospital.

Really.

Zhang Xinyan, a farmer from central China, came to Beijing with "the sole puprose of seeing a panda." He got off the train, and went straight from the station to the zoo. On the way, he found a saloon and drank four "jugs of beer" before "stumbling to the zoo" to see Gu Gu, a 6-year old male panda who weighs about 253 pounds.

But, when the Chinaman arrived, Gu Gu was asleep in his pen, so Zhang "jumped into the enclosure" so that he could "hug the panda."

Seriously. Hug the fucking bear.

This enormous fucking bear is not a good thing to hug.

Imagine the surprize of this bear when this idiot woke him up. When he awoke, Gu Gu took a bite out of Zhang's leg. Zhang "lost his temper and kicked the bear," who bit the Chinaman again. A scuffle broke out, and Zhang managed to get on top and bite Gu Gu in the back.

"His skin was really thick," said Zhang at the hospital later.

The zoo staff managed to spray the bear with a hose to scare him off, and Gu Gu was described as "healthy and uninjured."

Zhang had some other pretty good quotes about this whole scuffle.

EXTERNALS:

• Drunk man mauled by panda (The Australian)
• Drunk bites bear (The Calgary Sun)
• Tipsy Chinese man bites giant panda at Beijing Zoo (Newindpress)