Getting Off On the Wrong Foot

Quick, someone bring these whores some water!

The new military governement of Thailand quickly demonstrated its refusal to joke about anything. But then again, we didn't think they were kidding during any of this. Get this: The generals in charge yesterday ruled that "sexy dancers were forbidden near tanks, and tourists were no longer permitted to handle weapons when posing for photographs with troops still deployed in Bangkok."

What?!

Ok, we agree with the whole not-allowing-tourists-to-handle-weapons-while-taking-pictures thing, but why should the soldiers be robbed of a little good-humored entertainment? Since this military takeover began on September 19th, not one single shot has been fired, and the soldiers have been standing around doing a whole lot of nothing.

Your luck just ran out, boys.

Apparently, the top generals are worried that having go-go dancers around the soldiers makes their whole armed coup look less serious, and that the dancers should keep their distance from now on. And, you have to admit, letting drunken Australian tourists hold your M-16 while getting their picture taken doesn't make your army look very professional.

Mission accomplished.

In other news, a bunch of Dutch people are trying to make the world's biggest cheese. They tried to break the record last year, but failed when the cheese tragically broke in half before the official weigh-in. This year, they are being far more careful, using a forklift to move the 1,200 lb monster. For some reason, we wish them luck with their completely pointless mission.