Jim Edmonds Update
HPO field man Johnny Red, our resident St. Louis insider, is now reporting that Jim "SoCal" Edmonds' free-wheeling antics are causing team chemistry problems within the Cardinals' ranks. Here is what we received in our mailbag:
There isn't a high fastball he can't deposit in the shiny new right-field Busch seats, and he continues to make breathtaking catch after catch. Unfortunately, too much ass-time with his new butt buddy and Cardinals back-up catcher Gary "Steamin' Semen from Waukegan" Bennett has left much to be desired in Jim's attitude of late... Some heated words were exchanged in the clubhouse after Gary delivered an unauthorized towel smack to the bare ass of Jim with "Poppa" LaRussa looking on in disgust.
Edmonds, a Gold-Glove centerfielder and suspected homosexual, also had his share of girlish escapades with fellow outfielder Larry Walker last year. Whether his fun-loving behavior will have an effect on the Cards' season remains a mystery.
For many years, we here at HPO have been desperately trying to find out if it is, in fact, possible to score just one point in an NFL game. You know, so the score would be, say, 35-1. We began to think, we began to theorize. We consulted the NFL rulebook.
Now, we know.
Since PAT's are blown dead the instant that the defense gains possession, it is very unlikely that a defense can even manage to score 2 points on a PAT. However, if the defense manages a safety on a PAT, then they are awarded 1 point.
Example: Let's pretend the Arizona Cardinals are playing the Denver Broncos. The Cards are down 7-0 to the Broncos with 2 seconds remaining in the 4th quarter, when Denver scores another TD, making it 13-0. Now, suppose Denver has serious problems with getting their PAT personnel on the field, and are hit with 20 delay-of-game penalties in a row, pushing them all the way back to their own 1 yard line. They finally get their players on the field, and a failed Student Body Left results in a 4 yard loss, and a safety for the Cardinals. The clock runs out, and the final score is Denver 13, Arizona 1.
It is possible.