The Weight Has Been Lifted

True comedy has no place among the refined.

Tonight, we can sleep easy because we now know how you duct tape a girl to the ceiling. Thanks to the inquisitive mind of our Australian friend and all-star blogger Kitta, the entire process has been documented. The specific duct-taping shown above took place in Iowa back in 1992.

Aw, schucks.

In a shockingly unbelievable turn of events, Ricky Williams did not test positive for marijuana. However, he did manage to test positive for some other banned substance, and as a result, will not play a single down of the 2006 season. This is not surprising, seeing as the NFL was testing him 10 times a month. Unconfirmed sources claim that Ricky plans on spending the next 15 months living in a tent in Cambodia, smoking weed and eating pizza.