Starting Off on the Right Foot

Oswaldo went for Wedge's neck before the game started.

The first game of the '06 season is in the books. Sure, the Sox won, but we noticed a couple of worrying things about last night's contest.

First, the good: Thome did his job. Now, he just needs to avoid those devastating hip pointers, calf contusions, and of course, that deadly turf-toe.

McCarthy was perfect. The Indians managed to get the ball in play against him, but he got the job done. There's been a lot of talk of him becoming the Sox closer, but he made a solid case last night for long relief.

Small ball was the name of the game. Most Sox runs were scored on singles, and a couple of sac flies. Also good.

Splish-Splash was told to take a lap and hit the showers.

Now, the bad: The Sox left 15 men on base. That's not gonna cut the mustard. Especially noticeable was Joseph "No Middle Name" Crede's inability to get the job done. A big question mark this season will be the production of the Sox mediocre offensive players, like Crede, Uribe, and Pierzynski. We know what to expect from Konerko and Pierzynski, and if Thome, Dye, and Scotty Pods can stay healthy, then they are pretty solid as well. Anderson could go either way.

He's a better pitcher than Kerry Wood.

Buehrle only worked four innings. He threw 57 pitches, 65% for strikes. That's about par for the course, seeing as Dom Cooper usually expects his staff to throw 60% first-pitch-strikes anyways. He averaged 14.5 pitches per inning, which reeks of mediocrity. He managed to get a bunch of ground balls, though, and worked with quickness and determination, as usual. Not a great outing, but hey, it was the rain's fault.

Bottom line: He's a hoss.

Baseball fly very fast when he swing bat.

Iguchi promised that he would post better numbers this season than he did last year.

Everybody knows that Japanese people never, ever, ever lie.

See you in hell, Nevada desert.

Here at HPO, we believe virtually everything we read - it's what makes us such selective human beings.

We read today that on June 2nd, the American military is going to test-fire some pretty mean explosive bombs in the Nevada desert. It's a preview of what's going to happen to Iran if they don't cut their crap, say the powers that be.