Friday, April 21, 2006

Granderson Wins Game; Somalia Serious About Stopping Crime

He's a one-tool player.

Curtis' line last night: 1-3, 1 triple, 1 RBI, 1 R, 0 K

He ended his Strikeout streak at 3 games, and drove in the game-winning run by.... drawing a walk with the bases loaded.

The Browns are going to the Super Bowl!

As the winter frost slowly melts away, and the floral beauty of spring appears around us, our minds turn to human achievement in its purest form. If we here at HPO are not participating, then we are criticising, encourage, and making conspicuous the men who are.

In this case, we would like to congratulate Rich Belding and the good people down at Wendell's Pub in suburban Westerville, Ohio. Now, we realize that we usually adhere to a strict "NOhio" policy here at HPO, and that we do not care much for the Buckeye State nor its traditions, but we have to give credit where credit is due.

Wendell's Pub, located near Columbus, recently won the 'Best Restroom in America' Award. This is a hell of an accomplishment. If, through some horrible twist of fate, we ever find ourselves in Colombus, Ohio, we will make it a point to make a pit stop over at Wendell's and use their outstanding facilities. But we hope it won't come to that.

This is Somalia. Not too much fun.

Widely regarded as the "world's most lawless country," Somalia has finally put its money where its mouth is. As reported by our favorite newspaper yesterday, this sub-Saharan country is finally organizing and training a police force.

In anarchy for the past 15 years, Somalia is a country that is ruled by warlords, mobs with AK-47's, and feduing clans. Now, due to help from the UN, Kenya and Uganda, policemen are being trained in Somalia, far away from the capital of Mogadishu.

If they sent the rookie cops to the capital, it would be bad, admits the leader of their training program. "If we sent these policemen there, they would be killed. No doubt."

Even the Somalian government won't go to Mogadishu. The president is afraid to go to his own capital. It is classified as a "No-Go Zone." Seven men were killed there the other day, arguing over a cell phone. Seven men dead, over one phone.

Gonna take a lot of police to clean up that mess. A lot more than 200.

Another great play by our favorite cricket player and modern drunkard, Paul Collingwood. That's one hell of a catch, by one hell of a drunk.


Post a Comment

<< Home