Saturday, April 22, 2006

Charlie Sheen Completely Insane; Wife Still Moderately Attractive

Don't be fooled by his composed, sane look. Charlie Sheen is completely nuts.

Our meticulous friends at TSG first broke this bombshell story, which we are now sharing with you: Charlie Sheen has gone completely insane. Of course, it is a well-known fact that Charlie's father, Martin Sheen, went "temporarily" nuts while experimenting with many, many mind-altering drugs while shooting Apocalypse Now in the Phillippines back in the 1970's. He even suffered a heart attack during filming.

But, to be fair to Martin, every member of that film crew went insane during filming.

Anyways, a shockingly amazing signed testimony filed by Charlie Sheen's divorcee, sexpot and Downer's Grove native Denise Richards, was submitted to the L.A. Superior Court yesterday. The document, again, provided by our friends at TSG, claims that Charlie Sheen is a hardened gambler, wife beater, raging alcoholic, drug user, frequent client of high-priced "special ladies", and addict of underage gay porn. Oh, and he also sent photos of his penis to random women through the internet.

Not exactly a lightwieght.

Read Denise Richard's incredible, astonishing, unbelievable sworn testimony here. It is about 15 pages long, but please, read it all. You will not be sorry.

We guarantee it.

As disturbing as this makes Sheen out to be, it really makes you wonder what the hell Denise was thinking staying with him through all this. I mean, this pretty much is the textbook definition of raging psychotic weirdo/perverted pederast.

Scary stuff.


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