Thursday, March 09, 2006

Hell in a Handbasket

Say hello to my little uranium-enriched friend.

Returning to a story that we've been covering for quite some time here at HPO, the situation in Iran just got a little closer to the war that we have been predicting for quite some time now.

For those of you new to this story, here is what has been going on recently in this Middle Eastern confrontation. The March 6th deadline came and passed, and with all talks with the Iranians going nowhere, Iran was referred to the UN security council for its nuclear development program. Iran says it is using its nuclear program for power, not for making weapons to "wipe out Israel", as the US fears. And, since Iran refuses to let anyone monitor their nuclear development, we have a problem.

Now, as reported in The Guardian on Monday, US ambassador John Bolton has already stated that specific military activity (airstrikes and selected special ops) will be taken against Iran if they do not comply.

Why on earth would he do that?

Rarely (if ever) are specific military plans revealed to the mainstream media by key political insiders in such blatant form. It's like Cowher saying before the Super Bowl that he will run that double-reverse option pass to Hines Ward during the fourth quarter. It just doesn't happen, people.

We here at HPO were curious about this, so we went to one of our field men, Hector Golightly, an ex-employee of the British government's Foreign Office, and an expert in international politics. According to him, the situation looks like this: America wants Iran attacked because of their nuclear program and because they have a whole mess of oil, but America does not want to do it. So, by announcing to the world that we will do it through the press, that gives someone else (in this case, the Jews) a chance to attack first. They already had a motive; they now have permission, too. Then, presumably, the US establishes a puppet government in Tehran, takes over the nuclear program, and sells Iran's oil to the west for less than before.

Problem solved!

But, bombing Iran may not be so easy. France, Germany, and other major countries believe Iran may have secret nuclear facilities buried so far under the Persian desert that no airstrikes would ever touch them. This, they say, is just the "tip of the iceberg."

Now that's scary stuff.

Now, we here at HPO are God-fearing, working-class, blue-collar Joe Punchclocks, and the idea of war makes us sick, no matter who's doing the killing. But when you cross that line in the sand, as is dangerously close in this situation, there is little than can be done to avoid the inevitable death of a whole lot of people.

That's a spicy meatball.


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