Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Bring the Problem to the Jackass

What did Joey Gathright do to deserve this?

Julian Tavarez, ex-Cardinal hot-head and disgrace to baseball, punched the D-Ray's Joey Gathright in the jaw on Monday during a play at the plate. OK, we understand that he was upset about the previous day's altercation, but that's no excuse to fight like a girl. He was standing on Gathright's leg, and then punched him as he tried to stand up.

Next time this idiot tries a stunt like this, we hope he breaks all the bones in his throwing arm, while at the same time tearing his digital nerve.

The best part is that they actually put his name up as "Coconut Jones."

We here at HPO have been wondering if life is even worth living after the end of the NFL season and Clinton Portis' weekly thursday press conferences. Talk about breaking stereotypes! This blows them out of the water. A Florida-educated professional athlete, who generally would be thought of as dumb as a box of rocks, is doing character acting on the side. He makes it look easy, and anyone who has seen it would have to admit that he is not half bad as a thespian. Clinton has brought us classic characters such as Southeast Jerome, Inspector Two-Two, Coach Janky-Spanky, Dolla Bill, and Sir Lend-me-a-Hand.

He better start doing this again during training camp.

Right now, we could sure go for a drink or two... or eight.


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