Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Baseball Been Berry, Berry Good to Me

He'll be just fine, as long as he has his solid gold house and his rocket car.

Before Sammy Sosa became hated in Chicago for his corked-bat stunt and locker room antics, it truly was difficult to try to convince a Cub fan that Sosa was as crooked as an Englishman's teeth. Of course, after his fall from the grace of being America's beloved slugger, culminating with his painful exit from the Second City, everyone wanted a piece of Sosa. But before Sosa was blacklisted, not too many people were bashing Sammy.
We here at HPO have been doing it for years. But nobody listened when we would say he was dirty.
Like the time Sosa and his brother, Jose, were in a Caracas hotel lobby and misplaced $20,000 cash.
Think about it. A couple of double-dealing Dominicans are in a South American hotel lobby with 20 grand wrapped in a towel. I think that's pretty much the textbook definition of under-the-table dealing, having that much bread wrapped in a towel.
Exhibit B: We all remember those commercials for the "Sammy Sosa Charitable Foundation" that WGN used to run during Cubs games. You know, the one with Sammy loading a truck full of supplies to go to needy children in the DR for hurrican relief? Apparently, Sammy thought the best way to help those children was by spending the money on exotic cars.
Funny how people just forget about this kind of stuff.

Piazza appears to have recovered from that wicked groin pull.

And, of course, everybody's favorite Sammy Sosa moment, courtesy of Curt Schilling, Chris "I'll never be your beast of" Berman, Mike Piazza, and world-renowned idiot Joe Morgan.

July 8th, 2002. MLB All-Star weekend in Milwaukee, Wisconsin.

After Sosa crushes 12 moon-shots in the opening round of the Derby, ESPN's Rich Eisen asks Sosa if he "got all of it", and Sammy's replies get nothing but laughs from the booth.

Then, in the greatest broadcasting blooper of all-time, the camera catches Schilling saying "He's gotta say it! Baseball been berry, berry good to me." More laughs from the booth follow, and then, the camera catches Berman shushing Curt.

Here is the video.

To quote legendary broadcaster Ken Harrelson, in the booth with Don Drysdale and Howard Cosell during Tom Seaver's 300th career win, "YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME!"

Hello, Jugs.

The beautiful woman in the picture above is Osama bin Laden's niece.



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