Thursday, February 16, 2006

A Few Sandwiches Short of a Picnic Basket

Iran is pretty upset at someone over something.
The temperature is rising in Tehran. The situation has not calmed down. Despite serious threats by the U.N. watchdog nuclear committee, Iran's radical islamic government is not budging. Now, they've also got Cuba, Venezuela, Syria, and Bolivia on their side.
Not a group of countries you want to run into in a dark alley at night.
This is the national coalition equivalent of The Village People. You got Iran, the disenfranchised radical terrorist state, teetering on the brink of sanity and flirting with nuclear power. Venezuela is the oil-rich, pissed-off, America-hating backseat driver, with a power-drunk Chavez cheerleading his OPEC buddies. Then you got Bolivia, with its cocaine-harvesting Indian president, poking its powdery nose in other people's business. Cuba is no rookie when it comes to full-scale international nuclear conflicts, either. They have a track record of stirring up trouble ever since that thing with those whatever-you-call-ems back in '62.
Not exactly a lightweight.
And Syria... well, Syria's kind of like the red-headed step-child in this whole mess. They're just along for the ride.

For some reason, they don't like Jews either.

Now, even France (the home of Glass Joe) has stepped in. They say that Iran is not intending to use nuclear power for energy, but for weapons. Paris says Iran has a clandestine nuclear weapons program and that Iran doesn't want anyone to stop them.

Listen up, y'all. I'm fixin' to make me some nukyular weapons! A dang, man! A ding-dang-doo!

Iran has claimed to have up to 2,000 nuclear centrifuges, used for isotope separation. However, to make nuclear weapons Iran needs about 60,000 centrifuges total. So, as of right now, we ain't in any danger. But, if these psychos keep on making these things, they could be dangerously close to high-scale uranium enrichment in a year or two, which would be bad.

Because then, the threats will start, and Washington will get nervous, and our president will park an atomic submarine in the Persian Gulf, or send some planes up from Diego Garcia, and then we will have another Iraq all over again.

His favorite song is "It's Raining Men."

In four days, Ahmadinejad is meeting with the Russians in Moscow, where they will try to convince him to move his uranium enrichment operation to the Russian Federation. If Iran agrees, then this conflict is likely to boil over. However, if this nut-job continues his duty-dance with death, then we will all be in a world of pain.

This is a big meeting, folks.


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